chatterbox chitchat

by Melba Toast

DATELINE: SEATTLE ... The place where Summer means wearing Bain de Soleil underneath your raincoat ... Off to a good start with the Nova School graduation in Volunteer Park, where the TELEPATHS were reportedly thrown off stage in the middle of their performance. I'm sure it was merely a question of taste- as they where replaced by CHEBERE- or was it a publicity stunt? ...TMT EXPLOSION: THE MEYCE have been in the studio of VICTOR COUPEZ making recordings and the TELEPATHS are working on live mix recordings with NEVILLE PEARSALL, who was previously with LAMARR HARRINGTON. Speaking first hand, I can say the TUPPERWARES have completed some very other-worldly studio tapes at Le Secret L'Ocation. All this adds up to another dynamite show in the near future- and you can always expect the unexpected when these three forces get together... At the CAMELOT, I know it sounds a bit bizarre, the band TRANSISTOR appeared brandishing their voluptuous lead singer CHA CHA SAMOA- but that wasn't all- PAM LILLIG (previously with the TUPPERWARES) made a guest appearance on the BOWIE number 'Jean Genie' and reportedly stole the show. Members of the audience were heard to remark that they had never seen a guitarist 'get down' with such vehemence as MS. LILLIG exhibited that night. Right on! ... BOWIE'S film, which is playing at the Harvard Exit theatre, was the place to see and be seen on opening night. Through clouds of smoke, cheeze, and crackers I made out likenesses which spanned the whole gamut of LA BOWIE'S following- from bitch-queens with frizzed out flips to young Americans in denim delight, from hunky-dory honkies to suffragette soul sisters, and then there was GLADYS MAY! CANDY CLARK seemed to keep getting more beautiful as the film progressed and BOWIE'S filmic persona lived up to all our expectations ... On the party-scene: everyone is talking about the new party game called FANTASEX, -invented by ROLF MILONAS in which you act out your fantasy sexual roles: so you want to be a catamite slave? bloody-minded empress? Nazi tyrant? postulant nun? it's supposed to be a great hit at slumber parties- take note STEVE SOULES! ... Other points of questionable interest: DE CROFF and DE CADE are at it again, this time sharing a swank Ballard apartment which was previously occupied by LISA, you know, that golden girl of the showers, or is it golden-shower girl? ... Also, HOMER SPENCE made his fashion statement by sporting nothing but a white terrycloth bathrobe on a suburban street in midday - Will this be destined to surpass Nazi Chic as the look for Fall? ... And with this I harken to inquire - who cares?

... TOMMY DEAN (owner of MAX'S KANSAS CITY), PETER CROWLEY, and LEEE BLACK CHILDERS are forming a record company which promises an album of the hottest PUNK BANDS in the Big Apple - such names as WAYNE COUNTY, TUFF DARTS, MINK DE VILLE, BLONDIE, SUICIDE, HARRY TOLEDO, PERE UBU, JUST WATER, and THE MIAMIS will be included .. The RAMONES put on a smash show at the BOTTOM LINE in May, and on July appeared in London to commence their summer European tour. They reportedly go back into the studio in August to record a second album ... The PATTY SMITH entourage is also planning to release a second album in early Fall with Jack Douglas as the producer, or so it is rumored ... Other lesser known New York bands who are being courted by the record companies are THE CHARMS and STREET PUNKS... Meanwhile TELEVISION, still being picky, is releasing another pressing of 'Little Johnny Jewel', and everyone is humming the tune to TOM VERLAINE'S up-and-coming smash hit 'I fell into the arms of the Venus de Milo'.

... Just returned and starstruck, TOMATA DU PLENTY tells me in hollywood, liquers and teenage flesh flow freely and that the Sunset Strip is the place where ermine meet vermine! At Studio 55, TOMATA visited with the MANHATTAN TRANSFER and exchanged knock-knock jokes with RICHARD PERRY, who was described in a recent British Vogue as 'the most successful record producer in the world', remember, he produced 'You're So Vain'. TOMATA also went slumming with BRIAN ABZUG, former manager of the late SAL MINEO, who is now with the AHMET ERTEGUN machine and AARON RUSSO ... And where does one go slumming in Hollywood? Where else but PINK'S HOT DOG STAND, on La Brea, where over a chili dog someone was overheard breathlessly entoning the latest Hollywood Come-on to a Hollywood High School starlet: "Join me in my limousine and 'WET ME BABY', why don't you! ... If PINK'S is too time, a must for those who like cut-ups is a place on Melrose called THE AMP. The only signpost denoting this oasis of mutations is a small neon crutch which lites the doorway. TOMATA says he saw the cutest things on one leg here ever! ... Out and about at JOHNNY'S on Hollywood-Boulelvard, JONI MITCHELL was seen billing and cooing with PETER 'first I look at the purse' WOOLFE of J. GEILS, while the busboy queried: Has he DUNAWAY with FAYE? ... Last but not least, at Laguna Beach this year's Fourth of July Bicentennial mother, PAT LOUD, of LANCE and DELILAH fame, was seen strolling the sands - one might guess in search of a cure for MUMPS ... Again I must harken to inquire, who cars?

DATELINE: EUROPE ...In Paris, DOG-LEGS was up to his old tricks again. At a very chic night-spot DAVID was evidently enraptured by the likes of the beautiful ROMY HAAG. I'm sure ANGELA isn't too worried though as ROMY is in fact a MAN! A rather famous transvestite, according to the London newspaper SUNDAY PEOPLE. Not to be upstaged, RUBBER-LIPS was seen in London at the posh ASTOR CLUB making out in a corner - and it wasn't with BIANCA. It was reportedly another MAN possessing a very dark complexion! It sounds incredible, I know, but this tid-bit came from the owner of the club who was there and saw it himself.

IN AND OUT... As a public service for those readers of CHATTERBOX who simply live to be trendy, and for whom the next trend is better than the last orgasm, I am providing the following information as to what is going to be IN, and what is going to OUT so you can make the scene before it happens. My rationale being that maybe in this way 'the scene' can be avoided altogether. Here goes: Dinner parties are OUT, slumber parties are IN; Nazi chic is OUT, bathrobe chic is IN; Nietzche is OUT, Cocteau is IN; Final Net is OUT, Tres Flores Poinade is IN; Punk Magazine is OUT, Bomp Magazine is IN; Skateboarding is OUT, ping-pong is IN; Telephone calls are OUT, telegrams are IN; Gitanes are OUT, Gaulois are IN; Meow Mix is OUT, Doris Day Dog Food is IN; Vaseline is OUT, olive oil is IN; Taster's Choice is OUT, Cafe Francois is IN; Geography is OUT, Botecelli is IN; Glass-top coffee tables are OUT, end tables are IN; Supersonic is OUT, Ian Whitcomb's Conversations with the Stars is IN; C. B. radios are OUT, orange juice cans on a string are IN; Catatonia is OUT, metanoia is IN; Sire is OUT, Buena Vista is IN; Adjectives are OUT, verbals are coming IN; Marijuana is OUT, marijuana is OUT; Never is OUT, Always is IN! Whew! So much IN and OUT really be exhausting!